I Was Scared to Ask for More - Steph Gorton
STEPHANIE GORTON

STEPHANIE GORTON

I Was Scared to Ask for More

I was scared to ask for more. I had this feeling like I didn’t deserve it. And worse… shouldn’t want it. I should be happy with what I’ve got.

When my partner Tim suggested I start my own business… my immediate reaction was: I’m not smart enough and that life just isn’t for me… I could never be my own boss.

I had this view that being successful meant doing something extraordinary. That you needed some rare skill, some extravagant beauty, something “special”. Which I felt I didn’t have. So I told myself “its not for you”. This belief of “its not for you” had been playing out in so many areas of my life for over 15 years. It would come up when there was a promotion up for grabs in my corporate job.
It’s not for you.
When walking down King Street – looking at the designer clothing stores.
It’s not for you.
When watching women I looked up to gain bigger and bolder success and go after their dreams.
Steph, quit dreaming – it’s not for you.

“It’s not for you” — I didn’t know it then, but this phrase was the reason why I felt so disconnected to my life.
I had a great job, great friends, a beautiful apartment in the city, I was young, driven & confident.
But I wasn’t happy. I was so unhappy and I felt ungrateful… I knew I had it good and I knew others were worse off than me… But I couldn’t shake this feeling like maybe there was more.
“It’s not for you” I would remind myself almost daily. Then one day I was asked “WHY NOT?”

And I realised as I began to answer, that all of my reasons were the soundtrack to my life. The negative cycle of B.S. I’d been feeding myself for years.
Because I’m not talented.
Because I’m disorganised. Because I’m not smart.
Because I don’t know how.
Because I’m not good enough.

They say awareness precedes change and it’s true. Because the minute I became aware of how much my crappy self talk had been holding me back, I flourished.

Every time those B.S thoughts came up, I countered them.

You ARE smart. You CAN be organised.
You WILL LEARN how.
You ARE good enough and you DO deserve it. It took time. 3 years later and every now and then I still catch myself doubting my own abilities and playing down my potential. But I swat those thoughts away quicker than they came. Those sneaky MF thoughts.

In 3 short years I’ve:

• Quit my day job and now work for myself
• Wake up every morning feeling connected to my purpose
• Said goodbye to friendships and relationships that didn’t bring me joy
• Met the love of my life & am in the most supportive loving & super fun relationship with my soul mate
• Have created an abundant financial freedom
• Am on track to earning my first million
• Learned to love myself and move & nurture my body out of genuine respect & adoration for it
• Surrounded myself with the most incredible support network of people who are kind, driven, fun-loving, growth minded & above all who always show up to support me – no matter the challenge.

It hasn’t been easy. I’ve had to do a lot of things that have scared the crap out of me. I’ve had to have conversations that have broken my heart. I’ve had to confront my own demons, habits, and self-sabotage head on. I’ve had to learn how to STOP people pleasing & start to trust my own intuition. But I’ve never felt more connected to & plugged into my life… it’s been so worth it.

If you’re reading this. It’s for a reason.
Life has a funny way of showing us what we need to see.
Because you ARE totally capable of all of this and more. And when that thought pops up and says “its not for you”… just ask yourself WHY NOT?

Because you were not born to be small.
If you’re reading this… you are allowed to want for more.
You CAN have it all.
Go get ‘em girl.

Steph xx

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